..the truth is out there..

this same poster adorned my cork board while i was in college. it has been the sole witness of my struggle as a college student, justifying my teenage rebellion. my father wanted me to take up business ad so naturally, i enrolled in accountancy. (sigh)

anyway, i was in high school when i started watching this TV series (yeah, i'm that old). it started when i told my big brother to change the TV channel. what's so interesting in RPN-9 on monday nights at 9? not wanting to change the channel, he patted the cushion beside him and told me to watch this weird show w/ him. seeing that determined look on his face, i knew i lost the battle even before it began. so i watched F. Emasculata/ Season 2.

after an hour, my brother was laughing at me after i told him that the boil on the mens' faces reminded me of a cola drink w/ ice floating on it. yeah, he understood what i was referring to as we constantly drink semi-frozen Coca-cola. i got hooked on xfiles, for good! naturally, i blamed it on my devotion to Coca-Cola.

what is this about anyway?

The X Files is a division of the FBI devoted to unsolved cases that appear to have some unexplained, paranormal element. This became a dumping ground for reportings of UFOs, alien abductions, and other arcana that the FBI didn't want to investigate, or didn't believe in. At least, that was the case until Fox Mulder, a high flying serial-killer specialist, requested transfer to the forgotten basement. Eventually, Dana Scully was assigned as his partner. She wasn't just there to help him - she was expected to report back in order to discredit the wild-card Mulder.
Slowly convinced by the mounting evidence, Scully became Mulder's staunch ally. Over years of investigating cases no-one else would touch, the pair have come across paranoia inducing gas, vampire fetishists, plagues of grasshoppers and Luke Skywalker's love children...(and of course boil on mens' faces that reminded me of semi-frozen Coca-cola) - www.bbc.co.uk/cult/xfiles-

for a while then, i would suddenly stop listening to the teacher as she was discussing and gaze dreamily at the sky, looking for space crafts and little green men in parachutes. i used to think that the government knows more than what they're telling us. i would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched w/ sweat as i look under the bed for any sign of a Black oil infiltrating my room. of course, i also thought David Duchovny would come to the Philippines in his red, skimpy Speedo trunks and ask me to marry him. Oh mY!


i live w/ the saying "the truth is out there", not really understanding what it meant even until now. i've watched the x-files movie a million times, still thinking it was the greatest movie ever made. although there are some parts of the movie i still could not comprehend, but what the heck, i memorized that intent look on mulder's face as he was about to kiss scully before the damned bee stung her.

even though the x-files ended years ago, i still find myself scouting through some Book Sales for some x-files literature. i still surf the net hoping to find news on the xfiles return. this is not a healthy obsession. i should move on and start on 'alias'? 'csi'? 'smallville'? or maybe 'that's so raven' and 'phil of the future'?

being my natural self, i blame everything on David Duchovny and his ability to look unruffled and stressless after hours of chasing after those little green men. he's simply the perfect man.. (sigh)..

caffeine withdrawal

Three weeks ago I decided to stop drinking coffee.

That was on a Sunday, after drinking a cup of instant coffee at my brother’s house. Monday came and I enthusiastically started flipping through my working papers at the office, readying myself for the update that my boss will surely ask of me. At 2:00 pm, my officemates started sending “I’m sooo sleepy” messages. The aroma of Nescafe instant coffee assailed my nostrils. A bead of perspiration appeared in my forehead. I can feel a chill running through my body and the beginnings of a headache. I need coffee, and fast!

Still, I was able to lay off coffee despite the unbearable caffeine-withdrawal syndrome. Until... 6 days later, I had an iced coffee...

3 days after that, I had brewed coffee (hey, I was sad, it was valentines day-see separate blog)...

4 days after that, I had a choco-chip fruccino (it’s Saturday. I allow myself a cup every Saturday)…

5 days after that, I had 2 cups of coffee blend and ¼ grande of mocha fruccino (yeah, it’s a Thursday, but what the heck, I thought it was Saturday already).

valentines day

yesterday was valentines day. at this time of the year, roses double their prices, stuffed bears look cute and chocolates appear sweeter than they truly are. whenever my friends would scout the malls during this time, we see couples kissing, hugging and looking deeply into each others eyes while promising forever-after nonsense. cynic huh? that's because i don't have someone to get cuddly with on valentines day! there, i admitted it! :)

seeing people who are obviously in-love, i find myself muttering under my breath, "hapi-fuckin-valentines-day". seeing gaily wrapped candies and lavishly arranged flowers, i grumble the same words again. :) my friends would just laugh at this pathetic statement i repeatedly utter 2 days before v-day.

when the big day finally came, i looked at my alarm clock, or rather my roommate's alarm clock and it screamed at me, 8:30am!!! (my shift's at 9am-6pm) what a way to start the v-day.

in fairness, despite the lack of romance in my life, i enjoyed my valentines day. i spent it with my offismates, starting with dinner where we waited for an hour and a half for our orders to be served. when it finally did, our iced tea tasted like flavoured water and my white marlin was half-cooked. ewwww, but i finished it off in 2 minutes :) we had desserts then and of course, COFFEE! we talked for hours about my fuckin' (excuse the expletive. i only use it in relation to my lovelife or lack thereof) lovelife. the brownie was chocolate-ey and the cheesy bacon french fries was so loaded with calories that i felt guilty after devouring more than my share.

i guess what made my valentines day a-okay was the fact that i was able to have coffee after 2 days of abstinence. teehee..

nonsense blog: feb 15, 2006

my best friend --> (wheeze..wheeze..)

on the left-hand corner, wearing red trunks and white shirt... is my BESTFRIEND.

We have never been separated despite endless plots of evil people to separate us. When I wake up, Sym is always beside me. When I go to work, his presence gives me reason to go on living.

We met in a very unfortunate event two years ago. I was just lying in my bed, staring at the white ceiling of my boarding house, holding my chest and trying to breathe. At that time, I knew I needed help. Attending class was never an option that day. Under any normal circumstances, I would have been glad to have an excuse not to go to school but at that moment, I sure wasn’t. Despite the difficulty in trying to move, as I have to pause for breath every minute or so, I managed to change into dirty jeans (which desperately needed washing) and a shirt (which desperately needed ironing). I hailed a cab and directed the driver to my doctor’s clinic.

My doctor assigned Sym to be my constant companion. The first time I saw him, I knew I was getting worse. I hated him then. DENIAL was etched on my face but I have to take him home with me.

For weeks, we were always together. He helped me through the most breathless time of my life. He was always there when I needed a breath. At times when I just cry because I’m tired of breathing, he clears my air passages and helps me breathe again.

Although sometimes, I ignore Sym completely and go on with my life as if he doesn’t exist, he remained loyal. I can always count on him whenever I feel my chest tightening and I start wheezing and coughing. He was never far from me and he’s always there when I needed him.

Thanks Sym – bicort Turbuhaler

What am I rambling about? Could this be the result of caffeine withdrawal? Total insanity!

some QUOTES:

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

I believe humans get a lot done,
not because we're smart,
but because we have thumbs
so we can make coffee.
~Flash Rosenberg

Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart
in nearly every great crisis - a good hot cup of coffee.
~Alexander King

Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm.
~Dutch Proverb

No coffee can be good in the mouth that
does not first send a sweet offering of odour to the nostrils.
~Henry Ward Beecher

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
~Alphonse Allais

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

A morning without coffee is like sleep.

To drink is human, to drink coffee is divine!

Behind every successful woman... is a substantial amount of coffee.
~Stephanie Piro